There but for the grace of God...
It is a testament to the efficacy of Alcoholics Anonymous and following its suggested program of recovery I have effortlessly held on to my sobriety with but a few meetings since departing the San Francisco Bay Area. I had not planned for that to be the case.
90 in 90 is the strongly-recommended regimen a beginner should adopt - going to ninety AA meetings in ninety days. This alone will not keep you sober, but not conforming to this now standard practice would constitute a half measure and, like it says in Chapter Five, will avail you nothing. You must be willing to go to any length. And to any length I went.
The beginning of the end of my active addiction began the morning of October 11, 2010. Having admitted to myself that I was trapped and at the end of my rope, I called Kaiser Hospital and set in motion a series of events that would change my life. The little Dutch boy could at last take his finger out of the hole in the dike. It had been a very long night, indeed.
One thing led to another. I was seen that afternoon by my newly-assigned physician, an internist named Sarah. I poured out my soul to her. There was a telephone consult with someone from the chemical dependency program, and in short order an appointment with a psychologist. By 8:00AM the next morning I was in an early recovery group that met five times a week. Then on Thursday of the following week I attended my first AA meeting. Between the Kaiser program and AA, I probably went to about 120 meetings in those first 90 days. Not bragging, here, you know. Just telling ya what worked for me.
To the religious-like attendance of meetings - morning, noon, and/or night - I added the requisite literature: Living Sober ( a handy guide for newcomers), the Big (Blue) Book (AA's bible), Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the 12 x 12), and the nearly-exhaustive series of free, FAQ pamphlets.
Within this framework came the fellowship - secretaries, speakers, strangers that seemed like long lost friends, some with 24 years of years of sobriety – others with only 24 hours. In time, I met Mike, who I asked to be my sponsor, to guide me through the steps. I started taking service commitments (kitchen cleanup, chair breakdown, greeter), arriving at meetings early for the camaraderie and staying long after the Serenity Prayer to grab a slice o' pizza with new friends.
That was my life in AA for some nine-plus months. I cannot say which of the above was keeping me sober. So to play it safe I kept everything in play. And mixing it up to confuse my disease, like the house-always-wins, sidewalk game of three-card monte.
“Does your sponsor approve? Have you told him?” “What are you going to do about meetings?” “Do you think it's smart to undertake something like this so early in your recovery?” All good questions posed by friends and family when I told them my plans to go on a nearly four-month tour across the country.
We are six weeks into the tour and I have attended, on average, one meeting every two weeks. This would have been unimaginable back in the dark, difficult days of the fall, winter and spring. First there was the impromptu Trucker's Chapel episode, with my recitation of Ecclesiastes; next, the 25th anniversary gathering of Friends of Bill at the Philadelphia Folk Festival; and most recently, the gift last Friday in Saugerties, New York, the day before their Bicentennial Kids and Family Day. Thursday night, upon arrival at Cantine Field, an impressive sport's complex, I went online to find a meeting in town. Sure enough there were noon meetings held at...you're kidding me! at the Kiwanis Ice Rink? It's just a few football fields in distance from our encampment!
God, have you been following me?
...I thought as much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today marks eleven months of being clean and sober. Hold your applause. Having time does not a tool for sobriety make. Recovering alcoholics with many years under their belt inexplicably go out. I can only speak for today. And right now I have never been happier and more grateful in all my life.
To any readers of this blog who are on the same page as me, I hope to cross paths, sometime soon, as we trudge the road of happy destiny.
No comments:
Post a Comment